Consider this: how you talk to yourself sets the tone for interacting with others. If you find yourself being unkind to yourself, imagine if you spoke to a friend that way. Chances are you'd be much more compassionate. So, why not start by being a good friend to yourself?

Write down three qualities you look for in a good friend and why those three qualities are important to you. Determine to become stronger in each of those areas yourself.

Be brave in your relationships. Being loving, respectful, kind, and vulnerable takes guts, especially when not everybody your age acts this way. Everybody wants to be loved well, even when they don't have the skills to communicate that. Lead the way!

It's easy to notice a friend's quality based on how much they are really there for you to laugh or cry with. Never take that kind of friend for granted.

Ask yourself, "How can I empower my friend, (name), to have a better and more fulfilling life?" You will be surprised how satisfying it will be for you to help someone experience fulfillment in what they hope to accomplish.

Finding a friend who genuinely cares about you might take some time. Here are three things to remember: 1) The reward of patience is worth the wait, 2) work toward becoming the kind of person you would want as a friend, and 3) there are no perfect people; therefore, look for the good in others.

Saying the right thing at the wrong time or in the wrong way is not the right thing. When you have something important to say, choose to deliver those words wisely. And, remember, it's always easier to say it right the first time rather than try to repair the damage of saying it poorly.

When you get to decide how to respond or react, choose kindness. Most of the time, the reward returns to you twice as big as you gave it out.

If you ever forget that you are valuable, needed, and capable of making a difference, remember that you may be the most positive person someone knows. Everyone's burdens differ, but those who bear heavy burdens with strength, courage, and positivity inspire courage in others.

A high school football coach said this about a star, all-state player: "He's a gentle giant who genuinely cares about others - including being unusually good at quelling any potential conflict we might have on the team." A gentle and kind spirit does not mean being weak and a blind follower. Strength and character is a better description.

Did you know that it is possible to put on kindness? Just like you put on a jacket when it's cold outside, you can consciously go the extra mile to be kinder to others (and yourself) in what can be a cold and lonely world.

Go out of your way to encourage a friend. You gave them a gift, and you got one in return.

Take a moment to think about three people in your life and what you appreciate about them. Even if you're not very close, expressing these affirmations through a call or text can brighten their day. Remember, the positivity you give often comes back to you.

Seeing the downside of a person or a circumstance is far too easy. Decide to take the more difficult route. Replace a critical mindset with a genuinely complimentary mindset and expect wonders in return.

A critical spirit hurts you and the person that you're criticizing. Practice refusing to be neither critical of others nor easily swayed by those criticizing you.

EVERYONE can work on being a better listener. Start small by picking one person to focus on and improve your listening skills. You'll find that the habits you develop will become a reflex to help you in other relationships.

When did you last tell someone, "I'm happy for you. I'm glad you got that award (recognition, scholarship, score, etc.). You worked hard, and you deserve it." Being happy for someone else often makes two people happy: them and you!

Make it a point to spend time with a friend, family member, or mentor who consistently speaks uplifting, encouraging words. Their positive influence can be a valuable lesson for you.

Here is a C.A.R.E. package you can benefit from for the rest of your life.
Challenge yourself to make a difference to at least one person around you.
Always try to take the kindness route.
Remember, the good you do for others will return to you at some point.
Exchange "I matter most" for "Others matter, too!"

Becoming a good conversationalist and communicator doesn't come naturally for most of us. However, successful communication is crucial for the quality of life and the strength of relationships. Try this: Ask a family member or friend to be gentle but honest with you as you practice your communication skills.

Ask yourself: "How optimistic am I? How can I be more generous with that optimism?" If you are only 20% optimistic, share that 20% with someone this week!

Can you think of one person, old, young, or in-between, who appears to be fairly consistently happy and upbeat? Ask to meet with them and explore their habits, routines, structure, mindset, boundaries, and values.

Here's a new approach to reacting to people. Instead of reasoning, "Every third person I come in contact with irritates me," try this: "At least every third person I come in contact with can teach me how to or how NOT to act or react. Adopt a learning, growing, more thoughtful about life game plan. It's a commitment that will ultimately put you miles ahead of where you would have been.

Most of us would like a friend or mentor who encourages us. If, at this season of life, you don't have that person, there is hope. You can be that person. The more you practice the discipline of self-encouragement, the better you will get at it.

Did you goof up, hurt someone's feelings, or let someone down? Instead of fussing with yourself, FESS UP. Say, text, or write a sincere note of apology. Then, forgive yourself, too. Genuine humility is genuinely healthy.

Many say, "I'm going to go hang out with friends" without thinking if they are quality friends! For further thought, positivity can be a friend, too. "I'm going to take the next hour to hang out with positivity" will make your day far better!

Can you think of one person, old, young, or in-between, who appears to be fairly consistently happy and upbeat? Ask to meet with them and explore their habits, routines, structure, mindset, boundaries, and values.

Even if it takes many months or longer, patiently look for one or two people willing to share a little bit of their time, wisdom, and kindness to help you grow.

Stretch your mind a little. See if you can think of one person like a fellow student, a friend, a relative, or a safe adult who would agree to check on you periodically. Ask them to ask you how you are doing and to offer you a word of encouragement. You might be surprised to find out who will say "yes" to your request.

You can think highly of someone else without comparing or putting yourself down. There is only one you! Be content with who you are and where your journey is taking you.

It is essential for you to continue seeking out an optimistic team of life-supporters. At times, you may be blessed with several in your inner circle. Other times, you may have just one. And, as life ebbs and flows, there may be times you must count on yourself to be your best friend. The keys to keeping life positive in any of the above scenarios are to stay content, be grateful, and be an encourager to others.

One of the most significant benefits of being willing to come out of your comfort zone and being concerned for others is learning that periods of loneliness happen to everyone. When you stay too much to yourself, that's what you are left with when you are in pain -only yourself!"

When dark, oppressive thoughts deepen, and you feel yourself being pushed in an unhealthy, irreversible direction, CALL FOR HELP! Identify and ask three people you respect to answer the phone if they see your number.

Please don't give up on gathering a support group around you. It takes some persistence, but it is worth it! Let your group know you respect and appreciate their time. Tell them you are working hard to mentally and emotionally stand on your own two feet. You do need them. But be sure to respect their needs too!

When it comes to peer pressure, ask yourself these three questions: 1) Does this person know me well enough to advise me on how to live MY life? 2) Is this person committed to my long-term health and well-being? 3) Is this person the kind of person I would like to become? If the answer to ANY of these questions is no, let it go! The immediate discomfort of going against the flow will be far less than the inevitably painful consequences of giving in to potentially harmful peer pressure.

Consider the behavior that you dislike in others. Instead of focusing on changing them, determine to be a gift to those around you by living differently.

Friends are imperfect, aren't they? Even the best of friends have both good qualities and shortcomings. A key to enduring the tough times in friendship is a predetermined, unwavering commitment to stay attuned to and appreciative of the good you see in the other person.

Learn to make peace with who you are and celebrate the goodness you have to offer those around you. Yes, there are areas where you need to improve and ways to guard against hurting yourself or others. But don't allow the quest to improve yourself to overshadow the unique gifts that you have to offer.

When we ignore, hide, minimize, or deny our feelings, they don't go away. This can be especially true with the feeling of guilt. Emotions build up and hurt us or others. Practice saying, "I feel __________ about _________."

Conflict is a part of relationships with other people. How do you handle conflict? Do you:
Run from it.
Get angry and stay that way.
Do your best to listen and to speak as objectively as possible
Even if it takes weeks, months, or even years, be courageous to live out option C.

When anger or animosity starts to get the better of you, put words around your experience: I feel ____________ about ___________, and then determine that you will not react until you are in a more settled emotional state. Remember, being intentional is almost always better than being reactive.

Do you know you have the ability and the power to "debate with your emotions" when they are pushing you toward a dark place? If you don't stand up to potentially harmful impulses, who will? BEFORE you do something you will regret, P. U. S. H. back!
Pinpoint what was said, done, or thought that triggered the anger.
Usurp authority over where your emotions want to push you. Take three quick steps back!
Squelch the boiling point. Even if feeling outraged seems warranted, start a cooling-down process.
Heed to the rational side of your brain along with the wise advice of a trusted friend.

When it comes to spoken words, sometimes timing and tone mean the difference between someone hearing and receiving what you have to say and responding defensively.

Expect positive people to surprise you and give less energy to the negative ones. Acknowledge the person or people who uplift you and others and let them know how much you appreciate them.

Make a commitment to give someone a compliment each day this week, and then compliment yourself for encouraging others!

Tell a family member or friend something that you appreciate about them. It will do your heart good and, likely, make their week, too!

Consider your words. Are they heavy and discouraging, tainted with sarcasm or negativity? Are they light and uplifting, filled with hope and positivity? Your words have power. Use them wisely

Did you know you possess more optimism and positive vibes than you realize? Once you believe that, be willing to share some of that optimism with those around you. A word, a smile, a listening ear, or a kind act. These are but a few of the many positivities you have at your disposal to share.

Repetition is the key to building new habits. You may think you are a natural pessimist if only two weeks of practicing positivity doesn't make a difference. Perhaps you are, but that's no way to spend the one life you've been given. You need to try optimism for not two weeks, but two years! You won't want to go back to being a gloom and doom pessimist.

Think about this: while life is no game, it is sometimes called "the game of life" In other words, even when no one seems to be paying attention be a great cheerleader, helping and encouraging those around you to persevere in the game of life